Added By
Harpytalons
25.00 USD
Harpytalons
I specialize in Humiliation and Degradation, but I'm also more than capable of crafting you an honest rating or perhaps you'd like praise? My overall style has been noted as coming across a bit satirical, but I mean every word I write. Looking for something unique and different? Check out my special listings for d*ck poems, haikus, naming your d*ck, and more. Delivery for d*ck rates may take up to 4 business days. A lot of thought is put into them. While a quick turn around is nice for some, consider this... I will be thinking about your d*ck that entire time. And there is something is to be said for Antici..... ....pation. Your rating will be sent as a commemorative printable PDF, as well as text in an email. Print and proudly display your rating for all to see. The rules for a "cla**ic" rating: - You may send up to 5 photos of your d*ck - I will craft a thoughtful rating of at least 2 paragraphs on several parameters depending on the style of rating you choose. - 🌈LGBTQIA+ FRIENDLY🌈 Please lmk you/your d*ck's preferred pronouns. If pronouns are unlisted I will a**ume He/Him/His. - This is about your genitalia, not mine. I may or may not include descriptions of what a hypothetical partner may or may not experience with your d*ck, but it will be based mostly on you. You may choose: - Honest: A compliment sandwich. Choose how you want it to end (high note/low note) - Humiliation: A brutal and verbose rating. Please communicate boundaries after purchase. - Praise: Read this and walk away feeling like a first-rate c*cksman. After you receive your rating please know that we're done with the transaction. I do not offer JOI, S*xting, Etc. I do not want to be messaged unless it's for a further paid service.
50.00 USD
Harpytalons
Available: 1 pair White 1 pair Clear 1 pair Black Smelly gauges are definitely not for the faint of heart. This listing is for one pair of acrylic ear plugs, worn for 1 week without washing. That is plenty smelly for most but if you want something even more stinky you can add an additional week for $25. The most I'll go is 2 weeks. I wish I knew how to describe the smell of an unwashed plug, but... maybe Bleu cheese meets garbage? Idk... it's not pleasant. Shipping to the continental USA is included in the purchase price. Plugs will be placed in a small ziploc bag and wrapped in cellophane. To rehydrate the crud a light misting with plain or distilled water is recommended. Allergy info: dogs in house, no perfume
30.00 USD
Harpytalons
Be My Virtual Pet Let me show you I do care about you. I will get and name a Gigapet after you, care for it, and keep it alive for 2 weeks. Listing includes: Unboxing/Aliving Video Photo of the Name Screen Proof of life. Photos and/or a short video every day of said pet and age screen and life score for two weeks. A daily compliment about what a nice pet you are. Bonus occasional chat/videos/etc about you and your virtual counterpart You can choose the pet: Floppy Frog Pixel Puppy T-Rex Starcat/CompuKitty Unicorn Tamogatchi (it evolves, you don't get to choose) If you are in the USA, For an extra $50 I will mail the gigapet to you after the two weeks is up. You will need to reinsert the battery and press the bu*ton on the back, but it should arrive to you in the same save state as when I take the battery out. Rules: No S*xting No Nudity Just me pretending to care about you. Shhhhh. Good pet. Sit. Lie down. good pet.
150.00 USD
Inked_Meme
Let me belittle you with SPH or praise you and make you feel good - whatever gets you off 💦
10.00 GBP
ColdChrome
Whether I’m shocked by your shrimp d*ck or sp**chless from your ma**ive c*ck It all depends on what you lay in my lap C’mon, Take my breath away
15.00 USD